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Positive parenting

Parenting is All About Giving a Peaceful and Nurturing Environment to the Children

Positive parenting
author02 21 Dec 2015 29

The Art of Failure

Positive parenting
author02 12 Sep 2016 21

Interview with Mr. Manhar Kapadia

Positive parenting
author02 22 Feb 2017 30

Parenting is All About Giving a Peaceful and Nurturing Environment to the Children

author02 Dr. Madhumati Singh 21 Dec 2015 1

Giving a peaceful and nurturing environment to the children:
A home with minimal conflicts and negativityis a fertile land for healthy saplings to grow into trees. Family environmentshould be with minimal noise. Differences between parents should be sorted inthe absence of children, no matter what age. Parents have to earn the respectof children by conveying to them that they are capable of handling life like responsibleadults. One of the effective methods is to assign at least one day in a week tofamily dinner when all members sit together (with table manners in place) toeat. It is important for the children to know that both the parents aretogether as a unit, in thoughts and in action. A bad marriage (attributed to alcohol/drugabuse, violence) is better dissolved than continued on a hope that the childrenwill rectify it. Study shows that living with separated parents is better thanliving with squabbling parents. Also, mothers must learn to delegate some ofthe duties and responsibilities towards effective running of the house, as ithas been observed that most homemakers are stressed out with daily chores,deemed as thankless, monotonous and frustrating. They tend to be on a shortfuse with children, often leading to a stressful environment. Children should begiven instructions politely, with ample patience and encouragement to sharehousehold chores, so that everyone feels part of ‘team family’ that has thepower to strengthen bonding.

Parents should give wings to children’s curiosity:
The world has become a huge playground with anambiguous boundary wherein one area merges with another. What is dangerous andwhat is not, what is acceptable what is not, is fast merging into each other.The resources of parents should work as a playground of opportunities to lendwings to the curiosity of a child, so that he/she has a wider exposure to allthat is new and progressive around him/her. The new millennium generation ofparents and children are on a constant roller coaster of fast changinglifestyle, habits, trends, fashion, etc. The bright side is a vast area thatallows exploration and redefining what suits the family unit best for optimalprogress and growth. The flip side is the unknown domain, full of apprehensionsand concerns of safety and security of the child- aspects that influencehim/her that are good and bad. The avoidable and the unavoidable! In such avulnerable environment, it is important for parents to work like a navigator orcompass. They should be well versed with the changing trends in childdevelopment, ready to bridge the generation gap by being more open to acceptingchanges. Also, being more informed about what are the new aspects in theirworld - be it varied vocations and career options, changing dimensions offriendships, new technology and innovations or the internet world. The abilityto link this generation and their generation is one of the most crucial tasksfor parents. If successful, it then becomes easy for the parents to direct,guide, inform and share with the child, so that the child has the freedom toexplore with the life jacket of parenting to help him swim through the roughtide.

Effective communication:
Effective communication is when both partiessum up the conversation with ‘I’m OK. You’re OK”. Parents come in this worldmuch before their children and so a certain degree of maturity and patience isexpected out of them. Things have to be politely explained to the children,also, as objectively as possible with the intent of being open to clarifications.Difference of opinion should not be perceived as “argument with parents” or “answeringback to parents”. For bridging the generation gap, active hearing ismore important than talking/ giving instructions. We often perceive listeningas letting the child speak what he/she has to say (while framing sentences andwords in our minds (WHAT WE HAVE TO SAY/COUNTER) without paying attention towhat he/she is saying, without any recall of what is the significant pointhe/she made. This offensive-defensive approach of communication is fast learntby children and thus begins this vicious cycle with both parties saying to eachother – “you will never understand me.”
Active listening involves: Attentive listeningand noting significant points made by the other person. Then listening to moreclarity made upon the points, helping reach a clear point of view. Then puttingacross your point-of-view with possible cross-examination. And then, finallyreaching a negotiable compromise so that both the parties are OK! If we can bepatient with our boss at work or at meetings with our colleagues, we can surelyimbibe this virtue in parenting, with our children.

Be a role model foryour children:
Parents and the home environment are the firstcontact point of this world for a child. This place sets an imprint in thechild’s psyche and development, and most of the impact of this environment ismade during the first 10 years of the child’s life. If you have done your jobexceptionally well the first 10 years, most of your work as parents is alreadytaken care of and consider it as insurance for your child’s future.Parents are the first role models for their children. So make sure to live up to thetitle bestowed upon you. How you deal with your relatives, friends, helpers,boss, colleagues are being observed by your children. What are your workethics, how disciplined are you, how well do you keep your promises – are allbeing seen by your children. Be realistic with what you can deliver as parent.Your concept of money, truthfulness, sincerity, your concept of peace, goodness,health, happiness- all is being soaked by your children. Your children willcopy you first. Set your standard of excellence high and the rest will fall inplace.

Macro and micro parenting:
Micro parenting is the daily management/ welfare ofthe child, which goes well with the parent who is mostly available for thechild at home, in most cases, the mother, and macro parenting is the biggerwider aspects like - financial stability, social security, etc. which is donewell by the father, in most cases. Effective homes have been observed tohave both these areas clearly earmarked, and delegated between the mother and thefather. One dominant parent for micro/ macro parenting helps in the empowermentof both, the parent and child. However, there can be cross-examination betweenparents, NOT in front of the child, where both have a chance to put their ideastogether to reach a consensus as to what is the best option for the child(keeping their egos aside).

Encourage independence for self-esteem:
Perhaps the most important aspiration for positive parenting isto help the child become self-dependent and empowered. Always avoidcharacter-chipping approach (you are lazy, you always get into trouble, youwill always be a failure, you never listen to me etc…) and replace it withtasks-centric things (please keep your study updated, you need to beresponsible for your actions, you will do well next time, I love you my dearchild etc.). Learn to delegate work related to the child and also home-related,and always appreciate, no matter how small the work is. Also we are living ingender-equality times. Encourage gender equality at home. Teach the children toplay their most important role well- that of a student, and take responsibilityof all aspects that go into this role (marks, friends, games, extra-curricularactivities, creativity etc.).
Children will need regular inputs and words of wisdom andguidance from you as parents because in each heart (no matter how old we grow)there lies this soft voice, which asks: “Am I a good child, mummy?”


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    on 06 Jan 2016

The Art of Failure

author02 Anubha Das 12 Sep 2016 0

“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better.”-Samuel Beckett

When you figured out how to ride your bicycle for the very first time you fell over. Maybe you scratched your knee, cried a bit too. And after that you got up again & started pedalling. Soon you were riding the bicycle like you had done it all your life. That’s how life is; you can’t be discouraged by the first failure that lands up on you.

Failure is an ordeal and a lesson which drives a person to his/her success until he/she will not give up. Disappointment is life’s most noteworthy teacher which shows you how to achieve success. Failures are often quoted as pillars of success. There are many proverbs, stories about failures used to inspire those who have failed in one way or another. 

Though, we are saying that a winner should be a failure first, as it wastes lots of time. But failure makes an individual more experienced. It is a chance which wastes time yet serves an excellent lesson for the rest of your life. A failed experience conveys a lesson which teaches you to stand up to each problem. You will gain more from your failures than from your triumphs.

Don’t run away from failure, instead embrace it.


Interview with Mr. Manhar Kapadia

author02 Editor 22 Feb 2017 0

Manhar Kapadia is a renowned artist who has done award-winning painting exhibitions. Manhar’s paintings are mostly based on Mahatma Gandhi and depicts Gandhiji as a saint-like character and an idol of righteousness. These paintings capture all the attention of the spectators while making the eco-contemporary shadow with the realistic work. Let's find out more about Mr. Kapadia.

What inspires you to be a painter?

I failed in 10th standard. I don’t remember exactly but at that time I did some paintings and my neighbor told me for join Fine Arts College. I didn’t even know about Fine Arts College at that time.

Was it difficult to follow your dreams?

Yes of course. I was living in a slum area in Anand, Gujarat. After my father’s death it was very difficult to survive for us in a financial way. Even I sold water glasses on railway station at that time. So, it has been a long and a difficult journey.

What qualification it demands to become an artist?

It is not important to join a college of arts to become in an artist. There are so many artists around us who did no studied in fine arts college or any other art college, but the basic knowledge of art like academic art is very important. You have to build your own creativity as an artist.

What inspiration you got from your friends and family during your journey?

When I was studying in college my cousins supported me a lot. After my marriage my wife supported me every time. And now my son supports me a lot, we love to work together because we understand each other well.   

Do you agree that parents play an essential role to improve the creative skills of children?

In my case when I was studying my father died so I had to suffer in all the difficult situations at my young age. But yes parents play an essential role to improve the creative skills of children in today’s generation.

How you do advocate art as an important part of a child's education?

Every child has freedom in his childhood. At childhood the child learn very important life lesson. Through painting or any art they build their own creation and learn some lessons also by themselves. Personally I believe freedom is very important in childhood.

According to you, how students should take the first step towards creativity?

Every art student has to study the things around themselves in the real world. Because we can create everything from anything in art. Even we all can think in an artistic way for everything around us, only some have that kind of sense.

How important is it to choose a subject to create something on canvas?

Subject is very important in painting, graphic or I can say in every medium. Because when you create your own concept in mind and when it goes on canvas, there are so many things which might change. But every time the basic concept of art is very important. Because society takes a message from that concept.

What is your best advice for students who are interested in this field?

This is the best field to change this world through your eyes; at least you can create your own world.

As you have done so many exhibitions all over India, what are your future plans?

This year I’m taking rest till October, because I have done four solo shows in 2016.
On 2nd October there would be some planning for my next show on Gandhiji.




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