Stress Articles at


Know stress to beat stress: How parents must face the challenge

author02 12 Feb 2016 4

Nip the problem in the bud, see a counsellor

author02 12 Feb 2016 9

Growing Anger Amongst the Youth

author02 19 Aug 2016 20

Know stress to beat stress: How parents must face the challenge

author02 Fairgaze 12 Feb 2016 2

Is your child unable to retain what he/she has learnt, tends to blank out at times, complains of headache, is not hungry or is always very hungry, feels nausea or faces erratic sleep patterns and tends to prolong lying down on bed? These could be symptoms of stress. Now that they have been identified, they can be dealt with!

So, what exactly is stress? Stress is defined as a body and a biochemical of a person going through a coping mechanism. They are struggling to cope up with a stressful situation which is challenging for the body and the mind.

A certain amount of stress is important for life as it helps us to perform better. It propels a person’s way to deal with a difficult situation. But, you have to learn to manage stress!

Dr. Madhumati Singh, a senior psychologist, tells FairGaze: “It is very important for the parents to notice the child’s stress symptoms when it is building up. The moment it starts building eg it could be avoiding school, unable to wake up on time for school, bunking school, lying in bed for a long time, procrastinating or distraction with games. These are the initial symptoms that the parents need to observe. That’s where a parent’s role comes.”

Typical symptoms of stress:

  • A child is unable to retain what they have learned. They are not able to recall everything and sometimes tend to blank out.
  • Generalised anxiety. For example, questions like what if I don’t pass my exam? What if I don’t understand a particular question? start haunting the child.
  • Erratic sleep pattern. The child feels sleepy at the wrong time of the day and does not get sound sleep. He/she is always thinking of what to study next.
  • Appetite issues. In this case, either the child is not hungry at all or very hungry. These are distracting agents where the child spends time on eating a lot. So, it’s kind of nurturing your stress where you find some sort of succulence in food because you are anxious about exams.
  • Child’s digestion. In this case, the child feels nausea or goes to the loo very often or is constipated. The child may develop a constant headache.

Even as the child struggles to cope up with stress, it is very important that the parents know how to deal with it. They must sit with the child and chart out a timetable or before that may be find out in which subject the child is facing problems. Why is the child not willing to sit with the books? Is it the writing issues, does the child get tired with writing or it could be visibility issue or a hearing issue where the child has some mild ear infection. Or it could a strict teacher! It could be that the child needs 3-4 repetitions to understand a particular topic which doesn’t happen in a typical classroom scenario. So the child feels like a dud. He/she keeps falling back in class before finally giving up.

“This means the parents need to go to school, meet the teachers and find out and ask the teacher to give extra help in library period or in some other free period,” says Dr. Singh.

This is the help we can get from schools. A child can also take tuitions and if the parents are able to, they can also help the child in studies at home.

Another significant thing to keep in mind is the aspiration of a child.

“Not all children are aspiring for As and it is mostly parents who need As more than the child. It is very important for the parents to reorganise their aspirations and be realistic. If the subject is difficult for the child, then ask the child to get Bs or Cs. It’s ok and it can’t be all the subjects. It could be maths or any language subject,” adds Dr. Madhumati.

So, lower your aspirations and once the child is confident and they no more find studies so overwhelming, they will get encouraged to do better. Another doable thing is to chart out after school or weekend timetable where a child gets a fair balance of studies and recreation. It has to be tailor made. Every child is different. A parent has to do that and follow it with gentle reminders. Gentle supervision is needed where the child feels, yes, there is someone else too involved in his/her studies. They should feel that theirs is not a singular painful war against the school system or society and that makes them feel empowered.

This can be the beginning of their end to stress regarding studies!


  • on 21 Feb 2016
  • Good one.....

    on 29 Mar 2017

Nip the problem in the bud, see a counsellor

author02 Fairgaze 12 Feb 2016 2

Success and failure are two sides of the same coin. Having said that,the hard reality is that there is nobody on this planet who likes to be calleda failure, and definitely, not the children.
It is the worst thing that can happen to a child where the school or theparents call the child a failure.
Stress related to studies can be a dampener when it comes to a child’sperformance. While there are ways to deal with it at home, another solution isto approach counsellors.

“Definitely! Counselling does help a child who may not even be aware ofthe situation,” says Dr. Madhumati Singh, a senior psychologist from New Delhi.

The child may be going through some stress factors. But then he/she willnot go the counsellor unless the parents persuade them to. It is the parent oreven a teacher that has to take the child for a counselling session. It is theparent or a teacher that has to take the child for a counselling session. Achild who was earlier performing well but has suddenly dipped in performance oris becoming introvert or has become an introvert, has to be referred to acounsellor.

“Since the counsellor is neither a parent nor a teacher, s/he isvery effective as they are not going to judge a child. It is a professionalatmosphere where a child can open up and share where things are going wrong.It’s not like a courtroom where the judgment is given. The counsellor has tosee the universe through a child’s eye and only then they can help the child,”says Dr. Madhumati.

“Most of the schools in Delhi and NCR have counsellors. Some have two,one for middle school and one for senior school but most have one. The ratio ofa counsellor to students could be huge, sometimes 1: 1,500-2,000 children,which is a tall order. These counsellors mainly get students who are referred bythe teachers,” adds Dr. Madhumati. In such a scenario, the best solution wouldbe for the parents to watch out for the stress symptoms in their children andthen address the problem by meeting their teacher and make them understand thecore issues. The teachers can further initiate a session with the counsellors.


I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.Thomas A. Edison  

Exam time is here and it seemslike only yesterday that we celebrated Christmas! So, have a heart. This tooshall pass. No big deal. You need to focus on your timetable and revise the weaksubjects more. You have to learn to enjoy your exams. As much as possible! Maybe it won’t be very thrilling. But it’s ok. It’s just a next step in life. Actually,it’s one of the next steps only. Studies give you the foundation. Gently,confidently and happily take your exams. Life is about your passions.Also pay attention to your health. Take proper nutrition, more ofprotein, less of carbs, fat and starch. Keep yourself hydrated and keep awayfrom infections. Also, 7-8 hours of sleep is very important to keep your mindfresh.

  Dr. Madhumati Singh, senior psychologist


  • Nice write-up

    on 19 Feb 2016
  • Nice

    on 19 Feb 2016

Growing Anger Amongst the Youth

author02 Shradha 19 Aug 2016 0

Teenage years are the most difficult and challenging years in a person’s life. There are a number of physical & emotional changes taking place in one’s body, and at times, it gets quite tricky to cope with all of them. When teens cannot find another way to deal with these changes, they get annoyed, and take steps they should not. They know it is wrong for them, and would cause harm in the long run, but they still do it, only because being rebellious makes them feel a little better about themselves.

Not feeling wanted or accepted in a group can be very hurtful, and teens may exhibit these feelings as anger or aggression. Homework overload and extracurricular demands are also areas in which teens tend to feel overwhelmed, causing frustration and anger. While boys usually tend to express themselves physically, girls tend to act on this anger by verbally expressing themselves.

Parents must be aware of signs to look for in an angry and aggressive teenager. It's common for teens to fight with almost anyone when they are upset. When a teen appears isolated, spends a lot of time in their room, does not want to participate in typical activities, suffers a drop in grades, lack of appetite, sleeplessness or too much sleep, they might be troubled.

Working with angry and/or aggressive teenagers is important. Trying to figure out what is causing their anger or why they are upset about helps alleviate some of their struggles. Being available, listening to them and offering support are all huge components of making them feel that they are cared for, even if they have a hard time seeking the help that they need.



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