The Effect of Helicopter Parenting on a Child’s Independence

A term that has been 'on trend' in recent years is literally 'helicopter parenting,' which refers to an over-involved and over-controlling parenting habit where parents hover — literally — over their children and try to keep everything in their lives pocketed so as to speak. This may be love and concern coming from a good place, but heliparenting has serious repercussions for a child's sense of independence.

What Is Helicopter Parenting? 

Parents engaged in helicopter parenting take an excessive responsibility for their child's experiences and problems. It includes making decisions for them, resolving their problems, and protecting them from difficulties or even failure. Helicopter parents are attempting to minimize risks and maximize success, always overseing their kids' academic or social life, interrupting a conflict that breaks out, or spend their time over scheduling their kids. But this hyper-vigilant treatment holds back the development of important daily life skills.

Helicopter Parenting and how it hinderes independence

1. A lack of problem solving skills. Problem solving is one of the most essential skills children need to learn. When parents always play the hero and solve all problems by themselves, this denies the child the chance of becoming used to solving problems on his or her own. Or it may be something about which we have a conflict with a friend or a difficult school project, and learning how to handle problems helps build confidence and resilience. Helicopter parenting steals these opportunities so that kids are not prepared to tackle life's inevitable bumps on their own.

2. The Pressure Increasing Anxiety Might parental over-involvement even increase children's anxiety? If a child is always being watched by someone or he feels like he's being evolved to live up to someone's expectations fixed on him, he can become stressed or anxious about failure. What's more, if a kid never gets to miss, and learn from our mistakes, failing can become paralyzing. The greater the anxiety the less they will be able to risk or try new things, which are a prerequisite for independence.

3. Decision-making is a skill that needs to be trained in. The act of helicopter parents making every decision for their children takes away the opportunity for their children to weigh both pros and cons, assess risk, and make the decision to choose their own course. This means that as children, they are not able to make decisions, and when they are later presented with choices, they have a hard time making them. A lack of experience can leave you uncertain and dependent on others when it comes to making the big career path decisions, or even the small stuff in your daily life.

4. Self esteem is closely tied to independence. Feeling seen all the time and incapable of not being seen can diminish a child's confidence and keep them from trying things on their own, even into adulthood. If children are not entrusted with their lives or made responsible then they believe that they are not competent or trustworthy. They can very quickly slip into a cycle where they even more rely on their parents, making themselves totally dependent.

5. Helicopter-parenting mothers may eventually raise children who rely on external sources of support, including parents, teachers, and even peers. They aren't seeking solutions or strength within but beyond, seeking guidance and reassurance out. This may help to prevent the development of a strong internal locus of control, with feeling responsible for a person's own success and outcome. For this reason, these children are likely to struggle to perform independently in adult life, depending on someone's approval or help.

Independence for Children

To get rid of the harmful effects of helicopter parenting, it's important for parents to regulate the right amount of support and autonomy.

Here are a few strategies:

Encourage Decision-Making:

Cede to children the ability to make age appropriate decisions and reap the consequences from them. The first small choices are in themselves — choosing their own clothes and deciding what to do with their free time.

Let Them Experience Failure:

Life is full of failure and they are important. Parental allowance for kids to live and experiment with mishaps helps improve resilience and also problem-finding expertise.

Promote Self-Sufficiency:

Provide them with basic life skills, for example like, cooking, cleaning, or handling money. That gives them the power to assume responsibilities and to feel secure in the use of their skills.

Step Back Gradually:

Slow steps back for parents hovering can help more independence. It doesn't mean reassurous of neglecting your child but providing help when necessary and learning as they learn from their own mistakes.

Conclusion, It sounds like helicopter parenting — well, certainly, that's coming from a place of love and concern — but depending on the way you're actually doing this, it can have some unintended consequences on a child's development, particularly if it comes at the expense of independence. Kids deserve room to figure things out, make mistakes, and become independent. Parents can learn to free their kids to become independent and empowered to succeed in the world on their own terms.