Hazards Of Over - Parenting

Parenting is very responsible and at the same time difficult job. Just like excess of everything is bad, same is the case with parenting. Sometimes parents are over protective about the child and they interfere too much in the child’s life that it leads to bad impact. Over a period of ten years Julie Lythcott-Haims who has been functioning as a dean of freshmen at the Stanford University, has come across a heart breaking trend.

They realised that students could not function without their parents at all. Parents were involved just way too much in the student’s day to day activities. For example: if the students were performing good at school, the parents involved themselves and inquired with the teachers; if the child had a roommate issue at the hostel, the parents were ready to interfere. Students are often dependent upon their parents for their assignments and home work too. She stated that parents intervene more and more these days. The story is same a Stanford and everywhere else. She stated that this is happening at colleges everywhere. The trend was so very disturbing that she took the decision to investigate. Her researches helped and inspired her to write the best-selling book titled: “How to Raise An Adult.” In her research, she explored that the seeds of parental over involvement were first planted in the 1980s, with the invention of the playdate, the origin of the self-esteem movement and the idea of stranger danger. The American students were falling behind and a culture of fear originated. This fear developed a culture of over-parenting. In her book, she has answered the question: How do you know if you are over-parenting? The book states that it manifests itself in three ways, the overprotective parent, the over-directive parent and the concierge. The overprotective parent feels that they need to prepare the road for their kid, instead of preparing their child for the road ahead. The over-directive parent, or tiger mom or dad, makes their love for feel conditional.  It is based on how well their child implements the plans the parent has prepared for their future lives. Alongside the concierge wants to be their child’s best buddy. Such parents handle everything for their child, they track deadlines, right from keep a track of forgotten items to school, to making phone calls on their child’s behalf. Such parents make sure that everything runs smoothly in their child’s life at all times. Lythcott-Haims personally believes that just a little bit of struggle, little hardship indeed makes humans stronger. Indeed we all should offer such experience to our kids.

By: Anuja Arora

Content: https://www.kare11.com/article/news/the-dangers-of-over-parenting/89-35d5e557-3595-42fa-9afc-35e0160741a2