How to overcome your Fear

We have been in many instances of our life when we lost opportunities because we were not in our comfort zone. When we step out of our comfort zone, we often experience something called ‘fear’. Fear comes from a part of our brain called ‘amygdala’ and there are two, one in each side of the brain. This is the part that keeps us safe and alive because it triggers fear in us for possible situations that may cause harm. For example, if somebody points a gun at us from a distance, our amygdala would tell us to leave everything and run away. It helps generate fear to save us from dangerous situations, guarding, and protecting us. However, our amygdala does not differentiate between fear in dangerous situations to the fear we might experience while giving an important exam. That’s exactly where our job comes in.

This part of our brain considers even the slightest risk as danger and warns us. What may be a good risk or a challenging situation, the brain would even then trigger us into fear. The slightest situation of change or trouble causes us to step back and leave chances which would have led us elsewhere. A lot of times we have been saved from harmful situations because of fear, however, in our lifetime we come across very few such dangerous situations. We are yet the same people who face fear in a lot of phases in life. Phases that include non-dangerous events like public speaking, job interview, asking questions, etc. This fear either lasts for a short while or with few people stays for a longer period of time.

For example, the fear of failure or the failure of being judged may let us hold back our potential, our voice. For instance, Ajay who is a scholar looks for jobs and interview day approaches. A series of questions and doubts start pouring in his mind and his amygdala tells him its danger. Ajay who stepped inside confidently is now doubtful and leaves the hall before even facing the panel. He was fearful of failure but one thing that he missed because of this fear is experience. 
Because of the fear of not being selected, he missed the experience of actually going through the job interview process which would serve him with a lot of rich experience even if he did not make it. This is exactly why it is important to face your fear and overcome it.

The word ‘fearless’ points to a person who does not feel any fear, which is impossible. Being completely devoid of fear means that our limbic system will not trigger us to respond to situations it considers possible harm. And that’s why expecting people to be fearless is wrong. There is a lot of shame associated with fear and often we don’t accept that a certain person or situation or event scares us or brings fear. We don’t tell our friends and families because we think being courageous is ‘normal and not vice versa.

What we come down to, is that it is natural to experience fear but it is extremely harmful if we run away from every circumstance which tells us to step out of our comfort zone. At such non-dangerous events, we must take charge of ourselves rather than letting our brains make wrong decisions by giving us triggers every single time. 
It is not possible to adjust the working of chemicals that happen in the brain, but we can definitely put fear back in its place by taking charge and by differentiating between dangers which can cost us everything and challenges which will help us grow. Talking about what scares us, facing it with its own terms and conditions is important. The more time we spend with such non-dangerous fears, the more friendly we become in their presence. It takes one effort at a time. It is absolutely normal to be fearful until we are not letting fear steal the opportunities and experiences we deserve. Fear can be overcome, taking charge, and facing it, talking about it is the key.

The next time you shut your TV after watching a horror movie, and you want to run to your bedroom, remember that is exactly what your amygdala wants you to do. You know deep down that there is nobody waiting for you on those stairs.

By- Alankrita Tiwari