Follow These Effective Ways to Teach Anger Management Skills to Your Child

Frustration and anger can very easily and quickly turn into defiance, disrespect, aggression, and temper tantrums if your child doesn't know how to deal with these emotions. When left unnoticed, aggression in childhood, like fighting and teasing, can be linked to academic problems, peer rejections, and poor mental health in adulthood. If your kid has trouble taming her temper, there are five strategies which can teach her anger management skills:

 

1. Differentiate Between Feelings and Behavior

Anger is a normal, healthy emotion. But many children struggle to understand the difference between angry feelings and aggressive behavior. You need to teach your child how to label his feelings so that he can verbalize these feelings of anger, frustration, and disappointment. You need to say that it's OK to feel angry but it's not OK to hit. You need to help him see that he's in control of his actions when he feels angry. Aggressive behavior sometimes stems from various uncomfortable feelings, like sadness or embarrassment. You need to talk about feelings often and over time so that your child can learn to recognize his feelings better.

 

2. Model Appropriate Anger Management Skills

A very effective way to teach your kid how to deal with anger is by showing him how you deal with your emotions when you feel angry. If your kid watches you lose your temper, he'll likely do the same. But, if he watches you cope with your feelings in a kinder, gentler way, he'll pick up on that too. Although it’s very important to shield your child from various adult problems, it's healthy to show him how you handle angry feelings. You need to point out times when you feel frustrated so your child understands that adults also get mad sometimes. You need to communicate with your children by saying that you are angry that the car in front of us didn’t stop to let those kids cross the street. But he is going to stop so that they can cross safely. Verbalizing your feelings will teach your kid to talk about his emotions too.

 

3. Establish Anger Rules

Most parents have unofficial family rules about what behavior is acceptable and what isn’t when it comes to anger. Some families don’t even mind doors being slammed and voices being raised while other families have a low tolerance for such behaviors. Create written household rules which outline your expectations.

 

4. Teach Healthy Coping Skills

 Children need to know appropriate ways of dealing with their anger. Instead of being told, “Don’t hit your brother,” explain what she can do when she feels frustrated. Say, "Next time, use your words," or, "Walk away from him when you feel angry." You can fill a box with items which can help her calm down, such as a coloring book and crayons, a lotion that smells good, or soothing music. You need to engage her senses which can help calm her mind and her body.

 

5. Offer Consequences When Necessary

 Give your child positive circumstances when he follows the anger rules and negative circumstances when he breaks the rules. Positive consequences, like a reward system or token economy system, can motivate a child to use his anger management skills when he's upset.

 

By: Preeti Narula

Content: https://www.verywellfamily.com/ways-to-teach-your-child-anger-management-skills-1095010